So I am sitting here in our living room with little Paxton snuggling with me (he is out cold on my chest) and couldn't stop thinking about how blessed I am to have this little man in my life. He truly is a gift from god!
I was reading a blog about a woman who is struggling with infertility (http://1pieceofme.blogspot.com/) and it brought me to tears. It makes me think back to when I was pregnant how much I complained about my aches, sicknesses, and sometimes about how I said I hated being pregnant; she would give anything to experience it and its as if I was taking it for granted! I can't believe I did that; I can't believe I could have ever complained about being pregnant with this precious little boy! Its as if I was overlooking how truly blessed I was in being able to be pregnant with him at all.
Her posts are so emotional and straightforward: she simply wants to become a mother, but can't. Now that I am a mother I can't imagine my life without him. I can't imagine my life not being able to be a mother.
Her testimony is so strong with everything she is going through and it really hit me hard. She was talking about a talk that she heard at the women's broadcast that was talking about motherhood and how important it was; how important women are to be able to bear and rear children and what a blessing it is to be able to do so. It is hard for me to put it into words how strong her testimony is so just go read her blog!
It is people like this that are able to have faith and perseverance through trials that are able to build my testimony of the gospel and remind me of all the blessings that I have in my life. Life is hard sometimes and we forget about all the things that we do have. I know that I have had my share of trials, but I need to always remember how important the gospel is and how it changes lives; how it changed my life.
Anyways, I am so happy that I am able to be a mother and I would go through it all again in a heartbeat! I really am blessed to have this little guy and love him so much!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Birth Story
Ok... so here is the whole story; sorry that it is 5 weeks later :).
On Friday, September 18th I was scheduled for my weekly doctors appointment and by this time I was hoping that my doctor would just induce me because I only had 4 days left until my due date, had already lost my mucus plug, started to have bloody show, and was having ALOT of Braxton Hicks contractions. At my previous appointment, the week before, I was only dilated to a 2 so I was not very optimistic that there had been much progress. Well, when my doctor checked me I was dilated to a 4+ and 75% effaced. I was thrilled at the news because it could be any day now that I go into labor. At the end of my appointment my doctor told me that I would spot a little and have some cramping. Well, when I got home I started to have some cramping and started to spot just like the doctor told me that I would. Well, Josh and I went out to dinner that night and the cramping started to get worse and very uncomfortable. My mother in law and sister in law both told me that they thought I would go into labor that night (of course I was hoping that I would). Night time came and the cramping and spotting continued. When it was time for bed I was very uncomfortable and could not fall asleep. I started to time my contractions and they were 3 minutes apart and at 1:30 a.m. I convinced Josh to take me to the hospital (he thought I was faking it). We went to the observation room (about 2:00 a.m.) and when they checked me (SOOOO PAINFUL because the nurse could not find my cervix; I thought I was going to DIE!) I still was at a 4+ and 80% effaced but was having regular contractions about 3 minutes apart so they said they would check me in an hour and if I didn't progress they would give me some medication for pain and send me home.
An hour later (at 3:00 a.m.) the nurse came in to check again (again, it was VERY PAINFUL) and I was dilated to a 5 and still 80% effaced. At this point she called the doctor on call and asked him if he wanted me to stay or to send me on my way. The nurse came back in and said, "Looks like your going to have a baby tonight!" Josh and I were thrilled, and then it hit that we were really going to meet our little man! I, being the baby that I am and not very pain tolerant, was extremely nervous because of all of the horrible things that I had heard about child birth. Well, I got all settled in the delivery room and then the Anesthesiologist came in around 4:00 a.m. to administer the epidural. I am scared, wait TERRIFIED, of needles and right when the Anesthesiologist came in the room my whole body started to shake uncontrollably. He positioned me and started to tell me not to move at all and explained that I would feel little pokes (the numbing shots) and then pressure (the epidural needle) and when I felt this pressure to lean back to him and not to flinch. Well, with my uncontrollable shakes the small pokes made me jump every time and the Anesthesiologist got really mad and started to yell at me. He was telling me how dangerous it was for me to move (which I knew but I couldn't help it) and that he would not finish it if I did not sit still. At this point I asked the nurse to hold my shoulders to help me sit still; this helped me A LOT! When the epidural needle went in I didn't even feel it! It was the little pokes of the numbing shots that were horrible! Once the epidural medicine went in my right leg went completely numb and I couldn't feel a thing (the weirdest thing ever)! The nurse then told me that I could push the little blue button every hour for more medicine so that I would maintain in that numb state :).
After the epidural was given to me the nurse put in a catheter and told me to sleep and that she would be in every hour to check on me--oh and she told me that I could not have anything to eat or drink; I could only eat ice chips (this sucked). the first hour she came into check on me (about 5:30 a.m.) I hadn't progressed any further so she started me on pitocin to get things sped up. It was then that I got sick and threw up everything I had in my stomach (Texas Roadhouse). Luckily Josh was there to hold the bag up to my head. Once this was over (lasted about 10 minutes) I felt great and just kept on waiting and didn't feel sick at all! Another hour passed and still no change. This is when she called the doctor and he said that he would come and break my water to see if this would get things moving along. Well around 8:00 a.m. the doctor came in and broke my water (I only felt the gush and then being wet). When he broke my water the nurse said, "Well you just lost 5 pounds!" I of course laughed! She told me that I carried A LOT of water and that it just kept coming out! This was pretty funny!
Every hour after that I progressed 1 cm (couldn't feel any of it) and at 12:00 p.m. I was dilated to a 9 and 100% effaced. The nurse then told me that I would be able to start pushing pretty soon and that she would be back in an hour to check on me. Luckily I had lots of visitors and they kept me entertained (the waiting was getting pretty boring, and not to mention that I was STARVING). I could barely feel my contractions and was making sure I was pushing my epidural button every chance that I got. There was one point that it my contractions did get a little painful on my left side but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle :) (thank goodness)! well at 1:00 p.m. the nurse checked me and I was fully dilated and fully effaced but the babies head was not a 2+ so she said to just wait another hour and I could probably start pushing then. Another hour passed and at 2:07 p.m. I started pushing. It was quite funny how they had me push because I couldn't feel anything and it was very relaxing. I would push 3 times for 10 seconds each and then they would put my legs down and I would eat ice chips. When the next contraction came I would do the same thing. The only thing that I didn't like was pushing so hard that my head felt like it was going to pop off. I could not feel the baby coming at all! I feel really blessed that I didn't! When the babies head was 4+ they called the doctor and he came in the room to deliver the baby. My mom looked at me and said, "There is his head!" and I just thought, "What!! Really??!" I couldn't feel anything and then the doctor told me to not push for a second and then to push one last time. When I did, out came Paxton! I only pushed for 34 minutes and there he was!
Josh was of course looking and said, "He is so skinny!" It was so funny! They put him on me and immediately started rubbing and cleaning him off. I sat there holding my little man and his little pout was so cute!! He still does it when he cries and I love it! Josh and I were so happy to have our little guy finally here! The nurses took him after awhile to weigh him and when they put him on the scale it said 8 pounds 2 ounces. The doctor didn't believe it and told them to weigh him again and when they did it was 8 pounds 2 ounces! I was shocked because I thought I would have a 6 pound baby. Regardless he still was so tiny! Here are some pics of the event!
On Friday, September 18th I was scheduled for my weekly doctors appointment and by this time I was hoping that my doctor would just induce me because I only had 4 days left until my due date, had already lost my mucus plug, started to have bloody show, and was having ALOT of Braxton Hicks contractions. At my previous appointment, the week before, I was only dilated to a 2 so I was not very optimistic that there had been much progress. Well, when my doctor checked me I was dilated to a 4+ and 75% effaced. I was thrilled at the news because it could be any day now that I go into labor. At the end of my appointment my doctor told me that I would spot a little and have some cramping. Well, when I got home I started to have some cramping and started to spot just like the doctor told me that I would. Well, Josh and I went out to dinner that night and the cramping started to get worse and very uncomfortable. My mother in law and sister in law both told me that they thought I would go into labor that night (of course I was hoping that I would). Night time came and the cramping and spotting continued. When it was time for bed I was very uncomfortable and could not fall asleep. I started to time my contractions and they were 3 minutes apart and at 1:30 a.m. I convinced Josh to take me to the hospital (he thought I was faking it). We went to the observation room (about 2:00 a.m.) and when they checked me (SOOOO PAINFUL because the nurse could not find my cervix; I thought I was going to DIE!) I still was at a 4+ and 80% effaced but was having regular contractions about 3 minutes apart so they said they would check me in an hour and if I didn't progress they would give me some medication for pain and send me home.
An hour later (at 3:00 a.m.) the nurse came in to check again (again, it was VERY PAINFUL) and I was dilated to a 5 and still 80% effaced. At this point she called the doctor on call and asked him if he wanted me to stay or to send me on my way. The nurse came back in and said, "Looks like your going to have a baby tonight!" Josh and I were thrilled, and then it hit that we were really going to meet our little man! I, being the baby that I am and not very pain tolerant, was extremely nervous because of all of the horrible things that I had heard about child birth. Well, I got all settled in the delivery room and then the Anesthesiologist came in around 4:00 a.m. to administer the epidural. I am scared, wait TERRIFIED, of needles and right when the Anesthesiologist came in the room my whole body started to shake uncontrollably. He positioned me and started to tell me not to move at all and explained that I would feel little pokes (the numbing shots) and then pressure (the epidural needle) and when I felt this pressure to lean back to him and not to flinch. Well, with my uncontrollable shakes the small pokes made me jump every time and the Anesthesiologist got really mad and started to yell at me. He was telling me how dangerous it was for me to move (which I knew but I couldn't help it) and that he would not finish it if I did not sit still. At this point I asked the nurse to hold my shoulders to help me sit still; this helped me A LOT! When the epidural needle went in I didn't even feel it! It was the little pokes of the numbing shots that were horrible! Once the epidural medicine went in my right leg went completely numb and I couldn't feel a thing (the weirdest thing ever)! The nurse then told me that I could push the little blue button every hour for more medicine so that I would maintain in that numb state :).
After the epidural was given to me the nurse put in a catheter and told me to sleep and that she would be in every hour to check on me--oh and she told me that I could not have anything to eat or drink; I could only eat ice chips (this sucked). the first hour she came into check on me (about 5:30 a.m.) I hadn't progressed any further so she started me on pitocin to get things sped up. It was then that I got sick and threw up everything I had in my stomach (Texas Roadhouse). Luckily Josh was there to hold the bag up to my head. Once this was over (lasted about 10 minutes) I felt great and just kept on waiting and didn't feel sick at all! Another hour passed and still no change. This is when she called the doctor and he said that he would come and break my water to see if this would get things moving along. Well around 8:00 a.m. the doctor came in and broke my water (I only felt the gush and then being wet). When he broke my water the nurse said, "Well you just lost 5 pounds!" I of course laughed! She told me that I carried A LOT of water and that it just kept coming out! This was pretty funny!
Every hour after that I progressed 1 cm (couldn't feel any of it) and at 12:00 p.m. I was dilated to a 9 and 100% effaced. The nurse then told me that I would be able to start pushing pretty soon and that she would be back in an hour to check on me. Luckily I had lots of visitors and they kept me entertained (the waiting was getting pretty boring, and not to mention that I was STARVING). I could barely feel my contractions and was making sure I was pushing my epidural button every chance that I got. There was one point that it my contractions did get a little painful on my left side but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle :) (thank goodness)! well at 1:00 p.m. the nurse checked me and I was fully dilated and fully effaced but the babies head was not a 2+ so she said to just wait another hour and I could probably start pushing then. Another hour passed and at 2:07 p.m. I started pushing. It was quite funny how they had me push because I couldn't feel anything and it was very relaxing. I would push 3 times for 10 seconds each and then they would put my legs down and I would eat ice chips. When the next contraction came I would do the same thing. The only thing that I didn't like was pushing so hard that my head felt like it was going to pop off. I could not feel the baby coming at all! I feel really blessed that I didn't! When the babies head was 4+ they called the doctor and he came in the room to deliver the baby. My mom looked at me and said, "There is his head!" and I just thought, "What!! Really??!" I couldn't feel anything and then the doctor told me to not push for a second and then to push one last time. When I did, out came Paxton! I only pushed for 34 minutes and there he was!
Josh was of course looking and said, "He is so skinny!" It was so funny! They put him on me and immediately started rubbing and cleaning him off. I sat there holding my little man and his little pout was so cute!! He still does it when he cries and I love it! Josh and I were so happy to have our little guy finally here! The nurses took him after awhile to weigh him and when they put him on the scale it said 8 pounds 2 ounces. The doctor didn't believe it and told them to weigh him again and when they did it was 8 pounds 2 ounces! I was shocked because I thought I would have a 6 pound baby. Regardless he still was so tiny! Here are some pics of the event!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Pregnancy
So I figured that because the idea to start a new blog began with the start of our little family I will start at that point:
The day I found out I was expecting:
Ever since Josh and I were married we have wanted to have a baby; however, we knew that we needed to enjoy being newlyweds for awhile and get some more schooling done. Well, I was grocery shopping at Wal-mart one day after work and randomly decided to buy a pregnancy test; please note that I had no suspicions I was pregnant and thinking back I have no idea why I ended up buying it. Regardless, I bought the test and as soon as I got home I took it and TWO lines appeared.
I WAS PREGNANT!!
Well, the first thing I did was call Stephanie (my sister in law) so I could make sure that the two lines really meant that I was pregnant and to send her a picture of the test so that I could get her opinion to make sure that I really was pregnant (the second pink line was lighter than the first). After she got the picture she assured me that I was pregnant and then came the hard part: figuring out how to tell Josh. Stephanie told me to wait for him to get home, but I couldn't resist and had to call him. Of course he didn't believe me. When he got home he told me that the pink line was to light and that I was just making things up. He demanded I take the second test and sure enough there were two lines. He still was in denial and the following morning he made me get a blood test to prove that I was pregnant and OF COURSE it came back positive. I called Josh to tell him the news and he still had a hard time believing me, but after continually telling him that I was pregnant it finally sank in!!
1st Trimester
Because I found out so early that I was pregnant (3 weeks) I had a pretty good first couple of weeks of pregnancy, it was around 6 weeks that the morning sickness came and it was awful! I have never thrown up so many times in my entire life!! I woke up sick, would throw up bile (the most horrible thing to throw up) and then eat, throw up, feel better for five minutes, feel sick, throw up, eat, throw up, it went on and on and on! It was awful and I never thought that it was going to end! Thankfully around 15 weeks the sickness began to die down and finally went away! I still can remember scarfing my first hamburger and actually keeping it down! I was delicious!! When I was 11 weeks, the scariest thing happened: I woke up covered in blood. I panicked and started to bawl! I thought I had miscarried! We immediately went to the doctor where they did the ultra sound. I was terrified to see my little peanut dead and was preparing to face it. Thank goodness his little heart was beating and we were able to see his little hands and feet kicking like crazy! I was overwhelmed with emotion and this was when it really set in that we were really going to become parents!
2nd Trimester
This was by far the best part of being pregnant!! I was not sick, I had TONS of energy, and really enjoyed being pregnant! I started to get ready for the day again and was loving being back to normal (well for the most part)! I started to feel the little man kick (which was so cool), started to actually look like I was pregnant instead of looking fat, and we found out that he was a boy!! This was so exciting and I can still remember all of the emotions that I went through! Many of you know that I swore that he was going to be a girl, and I will admit that I wanted a girl really bad, but when I saw his little pee-pee showing me that he was a boy I was THRILLED! Josh's poor face was sad because he thought I would be distraught about having a boy. This was NOT the case at all and once I got that into his head he was able to show me how excited he was to have a little mini :). I was super excited and couldn't wait to start shopping for all of his clothes and his room decor and Josh was so excited to have a son!!
3rd Trimester
The third trimester started off really great, but as time got closer it was getting really hard on me. Before pregnancy I was not very big and so having all the extra weight I was gaining really put strain on my body and I was really feeling it during this trimester. My back hurt all the time and it was so hard to get comfortable when I went to bed! I felt like a beached whale trying to flip over from side to side. It is so hard to explain to people how hard this actually is unless they have gone through it themselves, it is horrible!! Josh would always make fun of me because I would make noises and shook the whole bed as I tried to move my giant belly. The last month was absolutely the worst because I did what no one should ever do: I predicted that I would go about 3 weeks early, which was not the case at all! Everyday was a waiting game and I was so tired of it! I wanted to meet my little man and really wanted to not be pregnant anymore. I was having Braxton Hicks contractions all the time and I could have sworn they were real contractions because I had no idea what real ones felt like.
The day I found out I was expecting:
Ever since Josh and I were married we have wanted to have a baby; however, we knew that we needed to enjoy being newlyweds for awhile and get some more schooling done. Well, I was grocery shopping at Wal-mart one day after work and randomly decided to buy a pregnancy test; please note that I had no suspicions I was pregnant and thinking back I have no idea why I ended up buying it. Regardless, I bought the test and as soon as I got home I took it and TWO lines appeared.
I WAS PREGNANT!!
Well, the first thing I did was call Stephanie (my sister in law) so I could make sure that the two lines really meant that I was pregnant and to send her a picture of the test so that I could get her opinion to make sure that I really was pregnant (the second pink line was lighter than the first). After she got the picture she assured me that I was pregnant and then came the hard part: figuring out how to tell Josh. Stephanie told me to wait for him to get home, but I couldn't resist and had to call him. Of course he didn't believe me. When he got home he told me that the pink line was to light and that I was just making things up. He demanded I take the second test and sure enough there were two lines. He still was in denial and the following morning he made me get a blood test to prove that I was pregnant and OF COURSE it came back positive. I called Josh to tell him the news and he still had a hard time believing me, but after continually telling him that I was pregnant it finally sank in!!
1st Trimester
Because I found out so early that I was pregnant (3 weeks) I had a pretty good first couple of weeks of pregnancy, it was around 6 weeks that the morning sickness came and it was awful! I have never thrown up so many times in my entire life!! I woke up sick, would throw up bile (the most horrible thing to throw up) and then eat, throw up, feel better for five minutes, feel sick, throw up, eat, throw up, it went on and on and on! It was awful and I never thought that it was going to end! Thankfully around 15 weeks the sickness began to die down and finally went away! I still can remember scarfing my first hamburger and actually keeping it down! I was delicious!! When I was 11 weeks, the scariest thing happened: I woke up covered in blood. I panicked and started to bawl! I thought I had miscarried! We immediately went to the doctor where they did the ultra sound. I was terrified to see my little peanut dead and was preparing to face it. Thank goodness his little heart was beating and we were able to see his little hands and feet kicking like crazy! I was overwhelmed with emotion and this was when it really set in that we were really going to become parents!
2nd Trimester
This was by far the best part of being pregnant!! I was not sick, I had TONS of energy, and really enjoyed being pregnant! I started to get ready for the day again and was loving being back to normal (well for the most part)! I started to feel the little man kick (which was so cool), started to actually look like I was pregnant instead of looking fat, and we found out that he was a boy!! This was so exciting and I can still remember all of the emotions that I went through! Many of you know that I swore that he was going to be a girl, and I will admit that I wanted a girl really bad, but when I saw his little pee-pee showing me that he was a boy I was THRILLED! Josh's poor face was sad because he thought I would be distraught about having a boy. This was NOT the case at all and once I got that into his head he was able to show me how excited he was to have a little mini :). I was super excited and couldn't wait to start shopping for all of his clothes and his room decor and Josh was so excited to have a son!!
3rd Trimester
The third trimester started off really great, but as time got closer it was getting really hard on me. Before pregnancy I was not very big and so having all the extra weight I was gaining really put strain on my body and I was really feeling it during this trimester. My back hurt all the time and it was so hard to get comfortable when I went to bed! I felt like a beached whale trying to flip over from side to side. It is so hard to explain to people how hard this actually is unless they have gone through it themselves, it is horrible!! Josh would always make fun of me because I would make noises and shook the whole bed as I tried to move my giant belly. The last month was absolutely the worst because I did what no one should ever do: I predicted that I would go about 3 weeks early, which was not the case at all! Everyday was a waiting game and I was so tired of it! I wanted to meet my little man and really wanted to not be pregnant anymore. I was having Braxton Hicks contractions all the time and I could have sworn they were real contractions because I had no idea what real ones felt like.
New Blog for the Start of our New Lives!!
So I have decided to start a new blog because the old one has not been updated in a LONG time and I thought now would be the perfect time to start blogging again because we have added a new addition to our family :)! So here goes!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)